***This was the last post I wrote on thegfgf.com.***
Once upon a time, I wrote a food blog about dieting. On the surface, it wasn’t really about dieting – I certainly didn’t mean for it to be. But there was a particular crowd of bloggers who I wanted to run with and tried to emulate, and their blogs were (are) about dieting. So in my head, if I just ate a little healthier, and a little less every day, eventually my blog might look like theirs and maybe over time I could be the author of a popular healthy living blog, too.
The blog I’m talking about is, of course, the gf-gf. The reason that I haven’t been writing lately is that those healthy eating intentions backfired. The more I told myself “just a little healthier, just a little less,” the more I wanted to eat, well, more!
I’m back with this update today, because for the past few months, I’ve been conducting an experiment. Here’s the gist …
The problem: why am I having these uncontrollable cravings, and why is it that when I tell myself to eat less, I want more food?
The hypothesis: It could be that I’m not eating enough in general, and not eating enough of the foods I really want and like.
The experiment: Over the past couple of months, I’ve been eating two or three meals a day (usually three) of lots of real food. Only things that I like. And most importantly, all those things that I told myself I “shouldn’t” eat because they didn’t fit my healthy meal mindset.
For the first week or two, I dove happily into my favorite foods that I hadn’t allowed myself to eat for … years, in some cases. Mashed potatoes, cheese, French dip sandwiches, and lots and lots of ice cream. The things I craved usually fell into one of two categories: foods I hadn’t eaten due to years of diets (vegetarian, vegan, and all the different variations of low carb-ing); or things my mom cooked when I was growing up.
After those couple of weeks, my cravings started to die down, and I found myself eating many of my regular staples: hummus and eggs and carrots and oatmeal. I made sure to eat enough that I was physically and mentally satisfied after every meal. I didn’t snack much between meals, and I (mostly) limited myself to one dessert per day, usually after dinner.
Oh, and those two meal days that I mentioned – I’m not talking two regular sized meals. I knew that if I was eating less often, I’d need to eat more calories when I did eat (about 1000!) to tide me over until the next meal. I often ate in multiple courses, so I might have a brunch of cheesy scrambled eggs with bacon and then a big bowl of buttery popcorn. Then, I’d go about my day and live my life and not think about food for a while. Dinner would be 7-8 hours later, and would be equally large, say a hamburger with salad and fries, and ice cream for dessert.
The conclusion? Well, I feel saner and less anxious about food than I can remember feeling. I have a pretty comfortable routine of eating satisfying meals. When we have friends coming over and decide to have nachos for dinner, I don’t freak out about the chips and cheese not jiving with my “healthy eating plan.” I just eat. It’s only food, and it’s nowhere near as important as enjoying my friends’ company.
So the only thing left to figure out is what to do with this little blog of mine. It’s been almost two years since I began blogging here, and in that time, well, my whole life has changed. The gf-gf documents the seven months I spent in massage school, the time I fell in love with world travel, and has seen my relationship with Joel grow from boyfriend and girlfriend to soon-to-be husband and wife. But I’m ready to move forward.
I’ve bought a new domain, and I’m slowly setting up shop there. A few posts from this blog (notably, those from my trips to Italy and South Africa) will transfer over, but I’ll delete many that I don’t think are a reflection of my new food philosophy.
There’ll still be food pictures and occasionally recipes in my new space, but it won’t be anywhere near as narrowly focused. I want it to document more of my life, and less of what I ate. I’ll post here again when the new site is up and running.
In the meantime, thanks to all for reading, for your encouragement and kindness over the past couple of years.